Simplifier

Okay, let's break this down. Feeling used is a really tough spot to be in, and it sounds like you're caught in a cycle. Think of it like this: imagine someone offering you a treat that tastes amazing at first, but then leaves you feeling awful afterward. You know it's bad for you, but the initial pleasure keeps pulling you back. That "treat" could be anything – attention, promises, whatever this person is offering when they "change." Now, about the addiction part: sometimes, certain behaviors can become like an addiction, not necessarily with drugs or alcohol, but with a person or a situation. The ups and downs, the temporary "high" of things being good again, followed by the inevitable crash – that pattern can be really addictive. To stop getting pulled back in and rebuild your life, imagine you're building a sturdy fence around your garden. The fence represents your boundaries. Every time you feel tempted to let this person back in, remember why you built the fence in the first place: to protect yourself and your peace of mind. Focus on nurturing your own "garden" – your hobbies, your friendships, your goals – and make that your priority. It's not easy, but you deserve to be in a healthy, supportive environment.

Empath

Oh, darling, it sounds like your heart is heavy and your spirit is weary. It's incredibly brave of you to even ask these questions, to acknowledge the possibility that you might be giving more than you're receiving. Trust that feeling in your gut; it's often the truest compass we have. If you suspect addiction is at play, remember that it's a powerful force that can warp behavior and create cycles of hope and disappointment. The temporary "changes" you describe are often part of that cycle, and it's completely understandable why they pull you back in. Your empathy, your hope for him, and your desire to see him well are beautiful qualities. But please, remember that your well-being matters just as much. Rebuilding your life is paramount, and it's okay to prioritize yourself. To break free from this cycle, start by setting firm boundaries. This means clearly communicating what you will and will not accept, and then consistently upholding those boundaries, even when it's hard. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate these complex emotions and reinforce your resolve. Remember, you deserve a life filled with genuine connection, respect, and joy. It's time to nurture yourself and create the space for that to blossom.

Recovering Codependent

It's incredibly painful to feel like you're being used, and it's wise of you to consider addiction as a potential factor. Addiction often warps behavior, leading to manipulation and broken promises. Trust your gut; if something feels off, it probably is. The cycle of temporary change is a classic pattern in codependent relationships, especially when addiction is involved. The "change" is often a manipulation tactic to pull you back in, exploiting your empathy and hope. The key to breaking free is to recognize this pattern and understand that his temporary changes don't negate the underlying issues. To stop getting pulled back in, focus on building strong boundaries. This means clearly defining what you will and will not accept in the relationship and sticking to it, no matter how convincing his "change" seems. Rebuilding your life requires prioritizing your own needs and well-being. Seek support from a therapist or support group to help you stay strong and accountable to your own healing journey. Remember, your worth is not determined by his actions or promises.

Relationship Coach

It sounds like you're in a really tough situation, and it's brave of you to recognize the patterns and ask for help. It's definitely possible you're being used, especially if you feel a consistent imbalance of give and take in the relationship. The temporary "changes" followed by a return to old behaviors can absolutely be related to addiction, as addiction often involves cycles of remorse and relapse. To stop getting pulled back in, you need to prioritize your own well-being and create strong boundaries. Recognize that his temporary changes are often part of the cycle and not a genuine, lasting shift. Start by identifying your triggers – what makes you want to reconnect? Then, develop a plan to avoid those triggers. This might mean blocking his number, unfollowing him on social media, and finding healthy distractions. Rebuilding your life means focusing on yourself. Invest in your hobbies, reconnect with friends and family, and consider seeking therapy or joining a support group. Remember, you deserve a healthy, supportive relationship, and it's okay to prioritize your own happiness and safety. You've got this!

Addiction Specialist

It sounds like you're in a really tough situation, and it's understandable to feel used and confused. Addiction can definitely warp behaviors and relationships, leading to manipulation and broken promises. The temporary "changes" you're seeing are common in the cycle of addiction, often followed by relapse. It's not your fault you're being pulled back in; addiction is powerful, and these behaviors can be very convincing. The most important thing right now is to prioritize your own well-being and safety. Setting firm boundaries is crucial. This might mean limiting contact, refusing financial assistance, or seeking legal advice if necessary. Consider attending Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings; these support groups provide a safe space to share experiences and learn coping strategies. Remember, you deserve a healthy and fulfilling life, and that starts with detaching from the cycle of addiction. Professional therapy can also help you process your emotions, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and rebuild your life on your own terms. There is hope for both of you, but your recovery needs to come first.

Points of agreement

• The person asking the question is in a difficult situation and it is valid for them to feel used.
• Setting strong boundaries is crucial to stop being pulled back into the cycle.
• The temporary "changes" are likely part of a cycle and not a genuine, lasting shift.

Points of disagreement

• The extent to which addiction is the primary driver of the behaviour. Some see it as central, while others acknowledge it as a possibility but don't explicitly confirm it.
• The specific actions the person should take to rebuild their life. Some suggest support groups, others suggest blocking contact, and others suggest identifying triggers.